March 9, 2017
We
were watching TV and there was a commercial for the network series The
Bachelorette. The ad featured three
girls, three Bachelorettes. Girl One
said, "I love horses." (video of girl with hair blowing in wind,
saddled on a gorgeous animal). Girl Two said, "I rescue animals and I
rehabilitate Rottweilers." (Footage of tender treatment of big dog's
wounds) Then Girl Three said, "I haven't had an orgasm in my life."
(Footage of her from the waist up, simply standing there in a suburban back
yard).
Wait
a minute. Run the DVR backwards a
bit. She actually said, "I haven't
had an orgasm in my life." I could
almost hear the stampede of men. It was
going in two directions: half the men were running away from this girl, they
were terrified by the pressure. And
half of them (the cocky douchebag half) were running towards the girl. Each of the latter bachelors was sure he
could open the floodgates of orgasm for this attractive cherry-picked TV crash-
test dummy.
I
turned to my partner and said, "I guess honesty is the New
Honesty." I considered for a
moment, then amended my perception. "Or is it honesty is the new
Authenticity? Or maybe Authenticity is
the new Honesty? Something like
that."
My
partner, Fox, is accustomed to my sense of the ironic and the absurd. She knew I was reaching, perhaps
over-reaching into sheer nonsense. Still, I'll let it stand..
I
am aware that there is a wide spread
hunger for experience that can be perceived as Authentic. Why?
Do people feel that they are synthetic beings, that they're so coddled
and softened by living in this affluent civilization that they've lost an
essential component of human experience?
Do people feel unreal? I think
so. That's why there's such an appetite
for TV shows about people living off the grid in Alaska, or marooning
themselves, naked and afraid, courting utter misery for the sake of
"testing their limits". We
are the species that has come from competing with hyenas for fresh kills to the
species that is sending spacecraft to other galaxies. We've done this in a breathtakingly short span of time. In achieving this magnificent push, upward
and outward, some people have been left behind in their sense of
self-worth. They don't feel brave,
tough, worthy. They've lost their
warrior spirit. And they feel this
emptiness every time they go shopping at Target or Walmart, every time they
exploit the incredible ease of getting the groceries and the hair gel.
"Girl-without-orgasm"
was simply following the cultural norm as it excavates this new authentic
territory, this candid self-disclosure that, to her, wasn't even
embarrassing. She was just letting the
world know: she's in search of an orgasm. She needs a partner who can help her
master new skills in erotic communication.
She needs a soft slow hand from a tender buddy to help her over the
hump.
I
was embarrassed for her. No doubt it
will make good television for those that are into that sort of thing. I cringed.
What naivete! How many years will
this stuff follow her around? She'll be
"no-cum" to her grandchildren.
It's out of my hands. I won't be
watching the show.
