Early this morning Compassion was found dead on the floor of the House of
Representatives. An employee of the Capitol’s maintenance staff, Dizzy
Tilton, found the body as he was sweeping debris down the center aisle.
“I seen it comin’ for a long time. It wasn't no shock." said Mr. Tilton, who has worked in the House for thirty seven years.
“I seen it comin’ for a long time. It wasn't no shock." said Mr. Tilton, who has worked in the House for thirty seven years.
The body of Compassion was sprawled across a large number of seats in the
House Chamber. Of course, Compassion
was well known for her immortal hits such as “Wake Up Before It’s Too Late,”
and “I Seen the Devil And It’s You,”. An anonymous source in law enforcement
told this reporter that as many as fifty knives were used in the killing.
The FBI and the Secret Service say they have no suspects at this time, but a
thorough investigation will be mounted as soon as a committee is formed to
decide who will lead the inquiry.
“There’s plenty of evidence”, said Special Agent Dawn Zerle-Light, “There are fingerprints on top of fingerprints. Seems like everybody
wanted Compassion out of the way. The timing is suspicious, I must say.
Only last week, Wisdom was blown to pieces in the Senate. Officials in
Congress are trying to pin the crime on lobbyists. Of course the
investigation won’t start until the end of the current filibuster.”
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