Art Rosch
Copyright 2014
There is no worst show on TV. There are a plethora of disgusting, heinous, exploitive and
dishonest shows. Trying to chose one is
like sticking my hand down a fairground Portapotty.
I won't do it. I
have neither the courage nor the desire.
I've watched some shit, to be sure.
I've watched TV shit out of curiosity, morbid humor, a sense of snobbish
superiority. I've watched TV junk for a
lot of reasons. I wanted to bring a
report back from the Front, from the cesspool of modern broadcast
entertainment.
I can't do it. I
descended the circles of Hell until my nerve failed. I watched HOARDERS. I
watched the inane chatter of The Kardashians.
I watched as America's fixation on puke, pee and poop exploded out of
the Big Screen and landed on my defenseless psyche.
I watched Rob Dyrdek's RIDICULOUSNESS in which teenagers
addle their essence by launching themselves into tricks that crunch their
skulls and explode their scrotums. I watched kids do the "don't try this
at home" stunts purveyed by Johnny Knoxville (and don't get me wrong, I
laugh and wince too).
The veil between television and internet is very thin. Youtube weirdness ends up on Daniel Tosh's
hilarious show. Uploaded videos are all
over the television landscape, pockmarking
the Cable Universe with ridiculousness.
It seems as though the Lowest Common Denominator gets lower
all the time. As the world's population
explodes so do the number of niche market Reality TV shows, most of which are
carefully scripted and engineered to stretch fifteen minutes of content across
an hour of commercials for smartphones, cars, cosmetics and fast food.
I quailed at watching MY 600 POUND LIFE. I feel for Melissa's situation. I know about weight problems. But I couldn't watch the show. It was
transparently exploitive. Let's just
give the "Worst TV" ribbon to HERE COMES HONEY BOO BOO and stop
there. I'm not sure why this boring
insipid show is on television and the fact that it gets renewed for another
season makes me sad. Very sad. Maybe we have been hypnotized by Big Mama's
cross-eyed gaze, as she fixates on the progress of the giant zit at the bridge
of her nose. I don't know what it
is. People watch it. They love it!
God help us all.
